Wednesday, April 6, 2011

hi it's me

I have a donut!

warning: contains a rant.
well it's no secret that I fail at school. This started around middle school. My proudest moment school-wise was when I got an F in english but when my teacher made a list of the students who were top of the class I made second because he liked my writing and I did well on all my tests. He said I could be an author. Teachers read out my essays to the entire class until about this year when I stopped doing them all together. And every time a teacher asks a question I almost always know the answer even when nobody is raising their hand but I keep quiet. Every report card is the same thing: student is not working to the best of their ability blahblah blah. I hate doing homework. I know every teenager says this but I HATE it. hate hate hate. I'm so unmotivated when it comes to homework that I just don't do it and replace it with doing something I think is worthwhile. Which is lame of me I guess because everybody has to do things they don't want to right? I'm smart. I really am, but sometime back a few years ago when this whole thing started and I began to get crappy grades I altered my mind set (unconsciously) to match my grades. Dumb as fuck. Then people started calling me stupid and in a way it was like yeah okay that works whatever. And then it started getting annoying.  Except for my mom, she's never called me stupid because she knows me. Better than anyone probably (though nobody really knows me) And now I'm here. With the same crappy grades, the stupid thing kind of went away, kind of. It was my own fault anyways but now I'm sort of determined to turn that around. I don't want to be some lame drop out because I know I'm capable of more.  I'm having a bad student abortion.....of myself. hehehe.
anyways sorry(!!!) about the rant
it's been something I've been holding back
so it probably came out a lot harsher than intended 
I hope you have a nice day/night.

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